"Life of 'Musts'"

While watching the amazing Paul Muni in "I Am A Fugitive from a Chain Gang" last night one of his girlfriends has the best line in the whole film...

"There are no musts in my life. I'm free, white, and twenty-one."

The funny thing is twenty-one did not feel so free to me. Looking back, it should have. I was in the middle of college, hardly worked, barely went to class. Had already met or was in the process of meeting some of my best friends. My obssession was with men, sort of like those sad ladies on Sex and the City. Wondering if I would ever meet the right one. I was always trying to make truly lame relationships or friendships into serious love affairs. It's like you want it all and you want it all right then. I had no patience. I was impulsive and insecure. It's not a time I would like to go back to. Just getting the hang of your own skin. Testing the limits of your mind. Everything was so serious.

There are plenty more "musts" in my life now and soon to be more, but every one of them real and every one worth it.

Posted by Molli at August 01, 2002 10:33 AM