The Day After

I could not find any words yesterday. I wanted to blame it on the extra dose of hormones in my system and the anticipation I am feeling. The words just would not come, but the tears and sadness came over me in waves.

Around 3pm I finally managed to get out of the house and swim for an hour. The Boys and Girls Club of Echo Park dominated the pool. There was so much joy as they shouted and played, took turns making ridiculous moves off the diving board. Watching them gave me a few moments of peace.

As I ranted and cried, G was busily looking up "crazy" and "dramatic mood swings" in the index of our pregnancy book (aka the "bible" written by William and Martha Sears.) Somehow we had dinner and watched a Frank Capra movie, because it felt right. My husband is a true saint.

I woke up this morning to blue skies and a lighter heart. I know it will get easier the farther away we are from horrific events that occured just last year. Perhaps the memory and the shock are still too fresh, too sensitive to linger.

Posted by Molli at September 12, 2002 08:08 AM