I cannot stop smiling! I love these people. Heather and Steve are a great couple, they have a very inspiring relationship, full of love and laughter. Yesterday they decided to get married. When I saw Heather later that afternoon she was positively glowing, smiling from head to toe. She was all lit up like a Christmas Tree in July! Though it is no big surprise, it is wonderful news and I'm sure everyone cannot wait for the wonderful celebration.

Congratulations beautiful friends!

We were out near the valley this morning and baby saw the Kripsy Kreme sign before I did. I told him that if our errands worked out and there was time before yoga (time to digest and time to drive across town) we might be able to stop.

He simply shouted, "Sugar! Feed me sugar!" then gave me a swift punch in the upper rib and nestled back down on my bladder.

I walked in the empty place and the sweet-as-pie-faced lesbian reached over and handed me a hot glazed donut without saying a word.

"Um, free?" I managed to ask.

"Yes, you are my last customer of the morning. It's 11am time for the next shift."

"Oh, I thought you gave all crazy pregnant ladies free donuts."

"I did not even see that. Here's one for the baby too."

There ain't nothin' like a hot Krispy Kreme, let alone two, damn!

My friend Heather (from Trinket) just sent me this email:

This site is genius. It's in German, so I don't know what it says. But
really, the photos say it all.

http://www.immerrocknroll.de/bandfoto1.html

Heather

I feel so lucky in love. When I fell in love with G , many years ago, I had no idea how wonderful his family would be. They were immediately warm and accepting from the first time I met them. They care deeply about their son and would do anything for him. Our little boy to be is going to be overwhelmed from the beginning of his life.

Yesterday I went on a date with my father-in-law, aka Grandpa to be, Papa Glen. He is an amazing and wonderful man, smart and funny. He has loads of friends, because he is the kind of person people like to have as a friend. He is recently retired, looking younger everyday and getting better at golf by the minute. Watch out Tiger!

We went straight to Sids & Me Furniture somewhere near Playa del Rey. This is the place where they bought all their kids' furniture. Glen looked great behind one of those fancy baby joggers, I think he needs to get one to parade his grandson down on the Strand. We found a crib and a dresser and were out of their quick. Since the crib we both liked was actually called the "Molly" we felt it was serendipitous. Now he will sleep like a little prince in his stylish, new sleigh crib. Well, we can only hope that he will sleep.

Marty, aka Grandma to be, is very special too. When G and I were first dating in San Francisco I noticed that they spoke on the phone at least once a week, even if it was just to check in. The guys I knew either neglected their moms or talked to them a little too much. G seemed to have a nice balance. I also noticed that he never spoke one unkind word about his parents, he conceded that they were supportive and non-imposing. I've always been in awe of their relationship, it seems so easy.

My grandparents were spectacular people. I only had one set for most of my life, my father's parents in La Jolla, Phil and Gretchen Rudnick. They were both scientists and I always felt challenged and enriched by the time I spent with them. They nurtured a love of reading, history and science in me from when I was very young. Most of our outings and conversations revolved around science and learning. My grandmother sent me monthly environmental reports all through college. We hardly ever talked about social events or the everyday aspects of our lives and they were not very warm and affectionate. I think this had the most profound affect on my mother, she never felt welcomed into their family and I can understand more now what that must have felt like. Even if they were not overly affectionate with my sister and I, they were at least very interested in us.

Being a part of the McIlvaine family for several years has had a major impact on me. I no longer see family as a burden or something to be tolerated around holidays. We get together at least once a month for one reason or another. I truly doubt I would feel ready (or as ready as I imagine one can ever be) to have children if it was not for the love and support of Glen and Marty. Of course it won't be easy, of course we are going to make mistakes and feel that we are in way over our heads, that's just par for the course.

This story (almost) made me pee in my pants...

Here's an excerpt in case you are too lazy to link:

Roughly, awkwardly, she shifts her unwieldy body behind the wheel. Hiking herself up, she attempts to straighten the soggy tent of a dress and unwrap from her lower body the yards of fabric now clinging to it tenaciously. This is a real trick: Hiking up in the driver's seat of a car is not easily accomplished while wearing another human being in your belly, an extended belly which reaches all the way to the steering wheel even before it is shoved forward in the act of pulling a muumuu out of your butt-crack, but huffing breathlessly she does it. Finally her left leg is free to join her right one in the floorboards, and she can pull the door closed behind her, lock it, and turn the key in the ignition...

I ate snakehead fish when I was in Thailand last year. I tried it with garlic, in soup and fried. Apparently having them here poses some sort of problem, messes up the whole food chain to have something that will eat things as large or larger than itself. Some people believe that you come back as a snakehead fish if you do not live right. Just looking at it inspires me to wash behind my ears and think good thoughts.

It's one fishy snake or snakey fish. This thing can live out of water for three days, it can crawl or flop from one water source to another. Creepy!

for the first annual Os' birthday party!

Last night I dreamt that we had a baby girl but she was only two inches tall, just like Thumbelina. I kept losing her, but G did not seem worried about it. She was not born a small baby, but a little girl so she could already talk and call out to me when I misplaced her. She was sweet and funny. I'm still confident that we are having a boy-child and that he is already a lot bigger than two inches or else there is something else inside of me breakdancing and such.

I slept well despite my silly dreams due to a fabulous day at the beach with three of my skinniest friends: Miss K, Ms. Varnelli and the notorious LC. Somehow after a morning walk around the Reservoir we ended up at Zuma.

It was a nice day at the beach, not too hot. We ended our journey across the canyon at Neptune's Net where we feasted on corn, shrimp, clams, and calamari.

The weekend went by too quickly. On Saturday G and I were treated to a lovely evening at the Pasadena Arboretum. Just at sunset, after a delicious picnic, the California Philharmonic began to play. The music was incredible. I recently looked up "Philharmonic" and in case you were wondering the term simply means "a symphony or orchestra of any size or the group that supports a symphony or orchestra".

They played Dvorak's 8th Symphony, an incredibly beautiful and sweet piece especially in contrast with the finale of Tchaikovsky's well-known 1812 Overture. I hope we have the chance to see the orchestra again, they were outstanding. The Arboretum is a great find too, just off the 210 in Pasadena.

Yesterday I was out of the house all day due to a gaggle of workers descending upon us at 6:45am to put in new windows. Driving around a seemingly familiar voice came on the radio. I thought I was listening to Melanie. Melanie Safka is a folk singer who played at Woodstock and had moderate success with songs like "Brand New Key" (...I've got a brand new pair of rollerskates, you've got a brand new key...) and "What Have They Done to My Song, Ma" to name a couple.

I would know nothing about Melanie except that G used to cover a few of her songs and has quite the extensive collection of her albums.

My immediate thought was that I had missed the boat. A few years ago I considered writing a biography on her. After a little research I discovered that there was not much "there" to the story. She has a couple of children that she still tours with on the East Coast and they also play their own music.

Anyway, what I heard was not Melanie but Austrian singer/songwriter
Pina (Kollars).

Pina sounds very much like Melanie, she has Melanie's broad vocal range that starts out low and full and only gets stronger and louder with the progression of the song. She also has similar pacing, a hauntingly slow movement that accentuates each syllable. The DJ accidentally played two songs so I got a really strong impression of her voice. When I got home I sought her out and she actually looks remarkably like Melanie in the few photographs I could find.

I'm eager to go out and find the album. we are coming to a new age of great female singers: Aimee Mann, Beth Orton, Emmylou, Lucinda, Gillian Welch... I could go on. One has to wonder if Melanie was starting her career today if there would be a more receptive environment or too much competition. She did peform in the heyday of Joni Mitchell, Joan Baez, and Carole King. She was definitely in some excellent company.

Listen to Pina here.

Kristina and her mom threw me a shower in my old home town this weekend. I'll be back to fill you in soon...

In the meantime click on the picture above and check out the pictures!

Excerpts from "The Diaries of Andy Warhol"

Monday, December 27, 1976

Got the invitation to President Carter's inaugural. It was addressed to (laughs) "Mr. And Mrs. Andy Warhol." Don't you love it?

Friday, April 14, 1978

I talked to Suzy Chapstick and she said she's noticed that most girls who get famous are tomboys when they're little, and I said that I'd been a tomboy.

Thursday, July 27, 1978

After work I just stayed in. Watched 20/20 and instead of saying, "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes," it was so funny to hear Hugh Downs say, "As Andy Warhol once said, in fifteen minutes everybody will be famous." People on TV always get some part wrong, like - "In the future fifteen people will be famous."

Wednesday, August 13, 1986

Went to see Stand by Me at the Coronet or Baronet. These four little kids and there's the Fat kid and the Brilliant kid and the Crazy kid. The only disappointing thing was that the kid who's a writer they show writing about it later in life, and this really cute little kid has turned into Richard Dreyfuss! It should've been Richard Gere. Then I would've been happy.

Check out how much his paintings and prints are currently selling for at Auctionwatch.

We're up and there is no sign of daylight. I blame it on the half of a Reuben I ate last night at Solley's deli in the Valley. We stopped there in honor of brother Solomon and stayed because the place was packed (with Valley folk) and the menu was quite extensive, replete with pickles waiting at every table. It was very comparable to Canter's. Only it was in the Valley. Did I mention that? Freak show. How do people end up there? Are you born there and can't get out? Do people actually move there? If they like it, they can have it and they should stay there and do whatever it is they do to be happy.

We went to play mini-golf. After threatening to do so for a couple years we finally made the pilgrimage to the Castle in Sherman Oaks. It was everything a mini-golfland should be. Three courses filled with unbelievable hazards including the traditional windmill and the occasional moving target, so much to choose from. We played skeeball, some weird Austin Powers game, then raced snowmobiles and motorcycles. G kicked my behind at everything, but you try straddling a motorcycle with an eight pound belly and a mini-skirt! It was a fantastic date all the way around. G's golf skills are truly remarkable, he got a birdie on almost every hole.

My friend Axel told me the toughest part of getting up for the World Cup (other than Germany losing, I'm sure) was deciding whether to have a beer or a cup of coffee. To all the insomnia affected pregnant women around the world I pose a similar dilemma, ice cream or cereal?

When we first moved to L.A. we were invited to a babyshower for Mike & Rita. It was up in Mt. Washington at this cool house where Dave & Tracy lived and still live. I was overwhelmed at first because there were all these cool musicians and a lot of them had kids.

In the midst of it all was this beautiful baby boy named Julian. He had these adoring parents looking over him and I knew he was going to have a lot of love and music surrounding his days. If you walk in his room he has his own drum kit, a mini-piano, a guitar, a xylophone and other assorted equipment.

His mom, Rita, is a talented artist and his dad, Mike, writes amazing songs and plays the guitar beautifully. His birthday parties always have the yummiest cakes and interesting people. For over two hours Greg and I were lost in separate conversations and eventually found each other and drove through the streets of Hollywood to home with huge satisfied smiles.

Thanks for inviting us to your birthday Julian, I bet you're happy to have your dad back from his European tour!

Seventy-five year old, jazz bassist Ray Brown died the other day. He was one of bebop's greats, a true master. He played with and was briefly married to Ella Fitzgerald. He played with Oscar Peterson for over 15 years, and recorded with Dizzy Gillespie and Charlie Parker. I was lucky enough to see him and meet him a couple times when he passed through Seattle at Dimitriou's Jazz Alley. At the time I was dating an aspiring jazz bassist, Lamar Lofton. We had a turbulent relationship, for something not so serious. If and when we actually went out together, versus meeting up late at night at a bar or after hours club, we generally went to local dives. On rare occassions he would call me up and tell me to put on a nice dress. Dimitriou's was expensive, but he would finagle a way in for us and we would sit right in front. Lamar actually took bass lessons from Ray Brown when he would come to town. We stayed late one night and talked to him while he loaded up his bass. Lamar offered to carry it for him, he pushed him away and the seventy year old veteran said, "I always carry my own equipment."

Here's Ray on jazz:

"Well, jazz is to me, a complete lifestyle. It's bigger than a word. It's a much bigger force than just something that you can say. It's something that you have to feel. It's something that you have to live. I grew up listening to this music. I knew when I first heard it as a small boy that I had to play it. It's never left me. I think that that has to happen to you. You have to love it. It's an undying love. It's not based on money. It's just based on doing it as good as you can do it."

The strange sensations start or continue, however you want to look at it. The whole experience is weird and of course wonderful at the same time. I seem to be growing rounder. Yesterday my ribcage felt too small. I listened to another woman complain about it today, she said it was like the baby is wedged up underneath the ribs and is trying to kick his way out. Perfect description. For me it seemed to pass after a good night's sleep. But I often feel a strange rhythmic, bumping sensation in the middle of my belly, apparently the kid gets the hiccups.

Who knew?