I have found the best tv show ever. In my search for good cooking shows I found the most hilarious show. The food looks pretty terrible and they do not look like they know what they are doing, but Barbara and John are having a damn good time.

It's called "Home on the Range" and the tag line is "a cooking show for the deranged..." or something like that. The first episode I watched they made this terrible mexican chicken pasta and they kept forgetting to add ingredients, of course they never even bothered to taste it at the end. The audience is full of goofy people too. They kept showing this 90 year old woman covered in tattoos.

PS. I heart Tivo!

This has to be quick because it's either write this up, make tea or clean the spit up that is dripping down my arm. Lucky for you I opted to show off a wonderful picture from this morning. Sean just stares and stares at the light coming in from the window. It's a great distraction for five minutes so I can wash my face and brush my teeth. We have a mutual fascination, I am completely overwhelmed with love and fascination with my son. I study him for hours every day. I am in complete awe that this little boy is going to keep growing as long as we keep feeding...

He, in turn, is fascinated by light and shadows and the occasional face or eyeball. He loves to chew on his hands, to gurgle and, of course, to feed endlessly as if he is on some sort of secret mission to grow up. I know every stage is going to be fascinating for both of us. To his eyes blobs and shadows will become well defined forms and colors. His small hands with their random movements will learn to grasp and eventually come under his control.

For now I love this age, this three week old (today!) that is such a baby, such a dependent and yet it all feels so fleeting. Today I enjoy this mutual fascination, me with him and he with the entire world.

Kobe, oops I mean Sean, got a couple special visitors yesterday. They oohed and aahed and brought him a book about a little gorilla.

Thanks you ol' married couple you! Happy first anniversary! I wish you a little lemur of your own someday...

Sean at two weeks and Syd at six months. It is hard to imagine that he will ever be that big...

Aunt Amy came to town as promised bringing a delicious lasagna. She has a Mary Poppinsish way with Sean that soothes him and entertains him for hours while I got some much needed rest and relaxation. She also gave me a rejuvenating facial AND made us a mexican casserole for later this week when the stores dry up and me and dad finally go a hungry. I am completely overwhelmed by the love and endless foodstuffs that keep appearing on our doorstep. Tamsin (who is due in less than a week) brought three huge jars of split pea soup and she didn't even flinch when Sean decided to pee all over her!

Sean is one lucky baby and we are very lucky parents to have such great friends and family. Aunt Kelly, Uncle Jay and Grandma came over yesterday with El Sombrero mexican food from Manhattan Beach. They came with armloads of gifts which they quickly unloaded so they could hold the little bugger.

Sean had a lot of visitors today. The famous actor Shannon Hunt and her rockstar boyfriend came by. They brought Sean his first soccer ball!

This adorable girl wanted to eat him for lunch!

Luckily her dad, Aaron, kept him well protected and out of her grasp.

And her mom fed her smushed up squash instead.

Dad went back to work today, so this is our first day flying solo. So far it has been a lot of fun. With dad gone it means more chocolate chip cookies for everyone and a lot of time in the sling running around the house and listening to Johnny Cash.

We sure miss Dad, but somebody has to keep us in Huggies and soft blankets. Thanks for all the hard work dad and for changing my diapers at 4am!

This cool outfit was brought to me by Kris P., Luis and Sofia Torres of Los Altos, CA. It's a big hit on a chilly day like today.

Have you noticed my cheeks are getting kind of pudgy? Yeah, I know I've been eating ALL the time. Speaking of eating, Auntie Amy is coming for a visit this weekend and she promises to bring lasagna... I can hardly wait.

Not sure how often I will be able to update. What have we been doing? Sean is almost a week old and so far we have been eating and sleeping. There is the occasional diaper change and endless hours of staring at him in wonder and amazement.

I am breastfeeding and that seems to be an endless but wonderful responsibility. G brings me juice and water so I do not turn into a prune as he sucks and sucks and sucks.

No complaints, honestly, breastfeeding releases oxytocin which is a nice stress-reducing hormone. It makes me sleepy and very mellow.

Rock on!

PS... Sean did watch the end of the Angels v. Twins yesterday with his Uncle Juanny, Go Angels!

My sister made a fine observation the other day. How can I not be full of anticipation when the condition I am currently in is called "expecting"? But it's really enough to drive you crazy. If I'm tired, it's supposed to be a sign. If all of a sudden I have a burst of energy that is another sign. If I 'm hungry, if I'm nauseated…enough already! Yes of course, in case you have not noticed all signs point to the fact that at some point I will be having a baby.

My own insight from my walk today: Pregnant women make high school boys nervous and embarrassed. My walks often take me by Marshall High and the goofs hanging out on the wall, ditching class or ‘whadever’. They sit there picking their teeth, making cracks at each other. Here I come waddling by and they become instant shoegazers, shoulders slump (even more) and absolute beautiful silence. I should start handing out condoms!

***

I’d like to send out some props to my peeps today. Those that are helping me get through the wait and the weight of it all:

To Kelli & Juanny for the fine BBQ last night…nothing like some sumptuous Ahi and other good grub. We also got to glimpse at the first few scenes of John’s film. It looks beautiful!

To the Solomon-Johnson clan for spending some quality time this week and introducing us to a fantastic burrito spot. After three long years of seeking the perfect burrito, they take us just down the street in Eagle Rock. Lovely, delicious, the right balance of rice and beans and everything else that makes a burrito what it should be. Finally! Of course I am not at liberty to disclose the location so it won't become a mob scene. That and I wasn't driving, so there is no chance in Hades I'll be able to find it without some help! Yes it looks this good on the outside and there is also a wonderful outdoor patio.

Happy Birthday Miss K! This awesome picture is from our joint birthday party two years ago. Two years ago? Can that really be true? I guess it must have been our 31st birthdays. Wow. We were so young and innocent back then. Kim is a true treasure of a friend, always up for things no matter how silly or ridiculous. She's brilliant, an aspiring musician and never utters an ill word about anyone.

I hope you are enjoying the desert today and that all your dreams and wishes come true. Kisses to my sweet and lovely friend!!

The visit to the doctor's office yesterday was a little frusturating. She finally did a pelvic exam. Our boy appears to be situated pretty high up, which basically means even if we wanted to induce labor he may not be ready yet. This does not mean I could not go into labor at any time, it just means that we won't be trying anything fancy to "encourage" his arrival until at least the 16th. This also just might mean somebody gets G's Bob Dylan ticket to the Wiltern... sorry hon!

I finally got around to reading Cathy Seipp's excellent article in Reason on the current state of feminism. Great writing. I especially enjoyed the part on Naomi Wolf's terrible book Misconceptions. Someone actually recommended it to me right when I got pregnant. Luckily I got it from the library. Unlucky for the library, I practically threw it across the room. It truly sets women up for an antagonistic relationship with her OB/Gyn. As I see it being pregnant let alone being able to have the baby in the hospital, birthing center or wherever I want is a privilege and not a right. Here's a nice excerpt:

Even deadlier was the reaction last fall to Naomi Wolf’s Misconceptions, a mesmerizingly nutty polemic about what she calls "the hidden truths behind giving birth in America today." (That’s compared to the sheer delight of giving birth in the rest of the world, of course.)...

Now that the standard polite flip-through of the neighbors’ hospital baby pictures means viewing a bloody color close-up of baby’s emerging head and mom’s genitalia, you may wonder just what truths about giving birth are still hidden. But perhaps you had no idea that pregnant women "in our culture" (to use Wolf’s favorite phrase) often have Cesareans, even when they’d hoped not to; that they are typically exhausted and sometimes feel like they’re losing their minds; that new moms still get up more than new dads to deal with howling infants in the middle of the night; or that maternity clothes tend to be unstylish, with a cruel lack of selection in Western wear.

Yes, she’s serious about that one. "You could not be a cowgirl and a mother," Wolf observes glumly, describing another day "mourning the loss of the young woman I had been" while rifling the racks at the mall. "You could not be a heartbreaker and a mother....You could not, in our culture, easily pair motherhood with many other alluring archetypes."

As opposed to what other culture? Are there really maternity shops selling Annie Get Your Gun outfits in Iraq or India? But Wolf remains starry-eyed about the obstetrical wonders of the non-American world...

Wolf speaks to many relatively unnecessary interventions when it comes to giving birth in the United States. What she fails to speak to is the fact that most women do not choose to educate themselves prior to or during pregnancy and that simply asking a doctor to follow your birth plan or clearly stating your desire for a natural birth can prevent these interventions from occuring. Wolf puts the power and responsibility into the hands of the medical professionals instead of the mothers-to-be. I see no reason, unless the baby or the mother's health is at risk, that every woman cannot have the birth experience that she desires. I suppose I'll have to get back to this once I've actually birthed this baby.

I promise to let you all know the minute we're headed for the hospital, thanks for all the love and support.

No, this is not my baby! This is my friend Sydney. She just turned 6 months old on Sunday, we celebrated by taking a walk around the reservoir and then we took a nap.

Last night we went out to MBeach for dinner. I had the SCAMPI ALL'AGLIO - Shrimp Sautéed in White Wine, Garlic, and Fresh Herbs. Served with Angel Hair Aglio Olio. I also tried the Cannoli. I also had a few contractions. We got a little excited on the drive home. We watched a movie, I did some laundry and then went to sleep.

Nothing.

I keep feeling like I need to check the voicemail. Like someone is going to call and tell me that it's time to go into labor and then magically it will all start.

We've got BIG plans little boy, it's time for you to make your arrival.